


and i feel alive (when you're by my side)

by funkietowns



Series: love and other emotions [15]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Character Death, M/M, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-03-06 00:34:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13399644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/funkietowns/pseuds/funkietowns
Summary: o2/27/16





	and i feel alive (when you're by my side)

**Author's Note:**

> o2/27/16

Yifan wouldn’t have ever called it an obsession, not in a million years. An obsession was recurring, sometimes never leaving one’s state of being. Yifan wasn’t obsessed, not at all. To see Yixing, it was simply... a reoccurring fixation (one which he never dared mess with, in fact). He would only ever find Yixing in the midst of his worst. It was when Yixing lacked the air in his lungs that Yifan would appear by his side. He had longed to see him, but he never called the shots. That was why, to Yifan, seeing Yixing was _never_ an obsession.

It was more of a desire, than anything. Coming face to face with Yixing was what he longed for. It sounded appalling and selfish, even to him. Once or twice, however, did Yifan have a chance of snatching him away from the cold, and dark world which he lived in. It had never been for too long. Yixing always survived, but he spent time with him, keeping him company. Where Yifan took him, it had been no different from cold and dark; but at least the time they saw the world together with open eyes _was_. In that moment, where it was just them, they were meant for each other. Those moments were crucial, and Yifan always held on to them because Yixing couldn’t.

Yifan liked to think that during the time they spent together, he was in love with Yixing. Love, to him, however, didn’t exist. What existed to him was void; it was taking; and it was leading. It was never Yixing, it was never real, and it never once stood a chance. Still, Yifan liked to believe that he could feel for someone that didn’t even know he existed, at least not until the time came. He liked to believe that, despite Yixing still having so many shots, he kept coming back to the same state because it was meant to be. And even then, to think they were, was absolutely foolish of him.

But, it was because Yifan didn’t exist, that they never had a chance. It was because, Yifan, to Yixing, was a definitive ending, one which he feared and tried ceaselessly to escape from. Sometimes Yixing thought Death was chasing him and catching up, but Yifan wasn’t obsessed, and he never did like to play games with people’s lives. It was only ever because of fate that Yixing and Yifan would end up together simultaneously.

It was when, with a heavy heart, a worn out body, and the mentality of dying, that Yixing hung by single thread. And Yifan was there, too, looking over him with a wicked smile. It had been a long, long time since they had last seen each other, Yifan and Yixing. And it was at that moment, that Yixing knew who he was, and what he did.

 _Don’t be scared, I won’t hurt you,_ Yifan promised. He promised this each time. He wasn’t surprised when Yixing didn’t fight back. Yifan’s hand came over Yixing’s face, the proximity of their skin making him impatient.

“I’m ready. This time, I’m ready.” Yixing said with a weary voice. He looked at Yifan with a curious gaze, his eyes concentrating on the man’s being.

He was young and breathlessly beautiful, his meatsuit fancying Yixing’s own eyes. What he saw was a mere facade. Yifan, he was neither youth and beauty, but a tired figment of obscurity. The fuel to keep him going lay before him, and it sparked a power inside of him. It was because of Yixing’s coming, that Yifan had survived this long. He had waited perhaps centuries for him, clearing path for this moment. Plenty of times had Yixing fled him, but Yifan finally had him so close, that he would keep him for good.

With a relieved exhale, Yifan said, _I know you are. I always have known._

Yixing felt a tinge of comfort upon hearing his words.

With a hand caressing over Yixing’s cheek, and a gentle kiss to his lips, the human took his last breath on earth.

Yixing had died, but Yifan, he was more than alive.


End file.
